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I have been such a slag since Friday. My impending and now happening period has been draining the life out of me. I have not been to the gym, I have not written any articles, I am phoning it in (though still of course being a good worker bee) at work, I have not written any smut, I have not attempted my *fourth* batch of incense as I am pissed that the first three didn't work, I have not crafted anything for Trevia, I have not done any house work, I have not shipped yarn for my sister's baby hat, I did not do a full shop at the store, we've been peapod'ing.
I have:
* Written an outline for my kitchen witch book
* Spun
* Went to a bbq at Mom's for the 4th with J^1 & J^2
* Found a source for favors for Melissa
* Japa'ed
* Made a delish dinner with Jow last night (romaine hearts with toasted almonds and a homemade strawberry vinegarette, seared scallops, spinach souffle, steak with manhatten sauce, armaretto cookies and vanilla ice cream, rose wine)
* Two brief stops at wegman's for non peapod related goods
* Called my doctor to get some Savella samples as I will not have any until the end of the month
* Cobbled together two blogs into a kitchen witch essay for WitchVox
That's not a bad amount of stuff? But all I can think of what I haven't really accomplished: no finished money making products for trevia, no money making writing, no housework (gah, that one is the hardest because I've been doing sooooooo good in my Stepford duties), no gym.
And I'm in that sweet spot of crazy making where I feel okay enough to feel like I could be doing something more productive but not actually okay enough to do something. I feel bored, listless, agitated, and anxious. It's always so hard to know when to just push! push! push! and when to just relax and let things be. Period will end by Thursday. The world will not end if I don't go to the gym, don't housework, don't do second income stream work, etc. I will not come to financial ruin, I will not gain seventy pounds, the house will not come to ruin (esp since Jow did a bunch of housework yesterday) for the next few days. But it's hard because I think on some level that it will.
Also, relaxing is not something that comes naturally to me, especially on my home turf. Vacation is, like, mandated relaxing. You're paying money to relax, it's what you're supposed to do. At home, even semi-not well, I am supposed to be creating and producing! And my brain feels fried too. From the wedding(s) stress, from pushing so much, etc. Working from 9a-3p and then going home and lying down and then maybe helping to make dinner and then lying down and spinning some more seems so . . .wasteful. I could be doing so much! Which leads my brain to chase its own tail around and around until I can fretfully watch some Law & Order.
Blah.
I have:
* Written an outline for my kitchen witch book
* Spun
* Went to a bbq at Mom's for the 4th with J^1 & J^2
* Found a source for favors for Melissa
* Japa'ed
* Made a delish dinner with Jow last night (romaine hearts with toasted almonds and a homemade strawberry vinegarette, seared scallops, spinach souffle, steak with manhatten sauce, armaretto cookies and vanilla ice cream, rose wine)
* Two brief stops at wegman's for non peapod related goods
* Called my doctor to get some Savella samples as I will not have any until the end of the month
* Cobbled together two blogs into a kitchen witch essay for WitchVox
That's not a bad amount of stuff? But all I can think of what I haven't really accomplished: no finished money making products for trevia, no money making writing, no housework (gah, that one is the hardest because I've been doing sooooooo good in my Stepford duties), no gym.
And I'm in that sweet spot of crazy making where I feel okay enough to feel like I could be doing something more productive but not actually okay enough to do something. I feel bored, listless, agitated, and anxious. It's always so hard to know when to just push! push! push! and when to just relax and let things be. Period will end by Thursday. The world will not end if I don't go to the gym, don't housework, don't do second income stream work, etc. I will not come to financial ruin, I will not gain seventy pounds, the house will not come to ruin (esp since Jow did a bunch of housework yesterday) for the next few days. But it's hard because I think on some level that it will.
Also, relaxing is not something that comes naturally to me, especially on my home turf. Vacation is, like, mandated relaxing. You're paying money to relax, it's what you're supposed to do. At home, even semi-not well, I am supposed to be creating and producing! And my brain feels fried too. From the wedding(s) stress, from pushing so much, etc. Working from 9a-3p and then going home and lying down and then maybe helping to make dinner and then lying down and spinning some more seems so . . .wasteful. I could be doing so much! Which leads my brain to chase its own tail around and around until I can fretfully watch some Law & Order.
Blah.
