Arisia

I'm still debating which way to take to go. I'm contemplating driving, but my car has a lot of miles on it and renting a car is more expensive than taking the train.

Is anyone driving from NJ to Arisia that I can catch a ride with? I can pay gas! :)

That's a great idea, now here's the plan.

Or: How I'm getting to Arisia:

Step 1: xrlyehx comes to get me (which is completely both kind and psychotic of her).
Step 2: Get to the hotel
Step 3: Take cab to bus or train station (I found a "luxury" bus that is done first class style that takes less time than the train does, same price)
Step 4: Likely both J^1 and J^2 come to NYC to pick me up, -or- I take NJ Transit to NB and then they get me
Step 5: Home
Step 6: Ded.
Step 7: Profit.

Auxiliary plan: If this plan A falls through, I *may* be able to finagle renting a car or taking the luxbus both ways, but this is the best arrangement thus far, having alreadygone through other similiarly crazy methods to get to Boston. O car! Why must you be old and unreliable?

2009: It wasn't *all* bad . . .

It's easy to get swept into how much 2009 just fully and completely sucked. For me, for the people around me, etc.

But there were good things too.

Here is an incomplete list of good things that happened:

* I gained financial independence
* I started Savella which is *awesome* for fibro
* Someone close to me made a big decision about zir life that I'm very proud of zir for
* I bought a house!
* I painted the inside of said house
* I went on a cruise with my mom and sis
* Brenna got engaged!
* Awesome 30th birthday
* I led the Summer Solstice for GoG
* I went to the fairy festival
* I hosted Kirtan in my house
* I went to the Grounds for Sculpture for the first time
* Stable relationships
* I have a modest nest egg
* I read Eat, Love, Pray
* I started adoptingcat and onaleopard
* I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for my family

I'm still a rock star/ I got my rock moves/ I don't need you tonight/ I'm alright . . .

Notes from a still incomplete revolution:

* Though NYE started out rocky (I wasn't even sure we'd make it out of the house most of the day), it rocked out. It's hard to put it into words. There was jungle juice (and when I got the ingredient list the next day I went pale. Funnily, I woke up fine). Spiked gummi bears. The magnum of champagne we brought, making it into dreamy floating strawberry cocktails. Food we ate with our hands, whether it was meant to be eaten that way or not. Friends from my old life (including S., who I haven't seen in ten years. 2010: The Return of Complicated Women to My Life) and my new life overlapping and laughing and howling as loud and off key as possible to rock band, draped comfortably over each other.

* Led the eighth annual New Year's Day Beach Run in Honor of Yemaya for GoG. I had found a traditional prayer for Her translated into english. Usually, I'm like bag some melons, toss 'em out but this year I felt more present. The most present I've felt at a religious event since the divorce. I picked out my clothes to honor Her, I wore Her BPAL scent, I wore the necklace lyssabard made that always makes me think of Her. I lit Her candle during the melon boat making and said the prayer. We got there and it was the coldest beach run ever but I always get excited like a little kid (We're going to go see Mom!!!!!) and the cold never bothers me. I gave a pretty solid invocation (no idea what I said though) and I was just. . . so happy. So happy to be there, so happy to see the calm blue sea, so happy to see Her. I dashed out to send my boat out and then seriously considered taking off my shoes like I always do but managed to contain myself (which is good because I don't have health insurance ;p). And then I got hit with the ritual stick, Lughnasadh 2010, Parvati's Party, BCC, keep watch. I felt like I had resettled into my skin with GoG which was nice.

* Starting the rewrite of my long short story today to be considered for another anthology.

* Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinally found Parvati's Om.

* Did some more website work

* Got a headcold, getting over it

* Found a yoga studio close to the house

* Checked out a new health food store with James, they have yummy food that you can eat there.

* Microwave fiiiiiiiinally installed today. I'm going to drown in popcorn.

* Flooring next week!

* Arranging to go in for an interview for the figure modeling

* Still slogging through the shamanism for idiots book

* Arisia plans seem pretty set, I think I know what I'm going to wear

* Cutting my hair off next week!

(no subject)

I am in love. Yeah, yeah, Feministing is all pissed they they constantly show fat chicks as nearly nekkid in magazines (Look fat chicks! Have hope for three seconds!) but dear god. ::fans herself::

I've always said that any chick could look omg hot if they had the right clothes, the right hair, the right makeup, etc.

I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed to see hot fashion foward fat chicks more. I think I'd strut my stuff more.

Mad Men/Plus Sized Model Spread

So I was talking over on regyt's lj that well first we need a comm of us fat chicks looking crazy hot like that so we can strut our stuff better. Secondly, of course fat chicks have fat chick mentalities and even though she's a plus sized model, some of us start pissing in our own corn flakes about how we're fatter, we don't look as good, blahblahblah.

People, just like Betty Draper in Mad Men, it's these women's jobs to look good. That is their job. And I start thinking, man! I want it to be *my* job to look good. I have this like totally eroticized view of what being a housewife would be (to the shame and horror to my older feminist sisters). And I want it sooooooooo bad. I want to flounce around the house in pretty clothes! I want to spend hours looking good! I want to be told I'm pretty! I want martinis at noon! I want to be a horrible mean slag with the rest of the girls. I want to throw lady's luncheons! I want to go to yoga twice a day! I want to do "philanthropy".

Yesssssssssss, fine, be a total drag and talk about the drudgery, the isolation, the scrubbing of toilets, the boredom, blahblahblah you're not really all that self motivated and you'd probably just sleep until 4p and never put on a bra.

But honestly? I don't care. I want to try anyway! I want to write books and be a housewife. I want to be a pretty princess who has pretty princess parties and makes pretty princess dinners, and wears pretty princess clothes.

There. I said it. ;p

But part of my promise to myself is to be more glamorous in the new year. We'll see how that shakes out. Maybe part of that will be just taking more pictures of myself more regularly.

Things I am Doing in an Effort to Pull My Shit Together

Firstly, shardkin and I decided we're going to be samuris for 2010. He talks about that here.

What I have done since last we spoke (ideally, a weekly progress/non progress report)*:

1. Spirituality -
* I've been doing mala work every night for the last two weeks, dare I say religiously. I have not missed a day for anything yet.

* I just bought an amethyst mala for Parvarti because after a year of research, I found her om.

* I finished Eat, Love, Pray (subtitled: DEBORAH MARIE ELIZABETH [MY LAST NAME], STOP FUCKING AROUND WITH YOUR LIFE!)

* Koffeeklausch happening this Sat

* Ran the New Year's Yemaya Beach Run for GoG

* Started tentatively calendaring other events with GoG

* Slogging through the shaman book. OMFG. So boring. But OMFG I need to finish it for myself.

* Praasadded with a delicious indian dinner with Shiva's fam


2. Get in better shape:

* I wouldn't use the phrase failboat here per se but I wouldn't *not* use it either necessarily . . .

* Stopped drinking and eating like an asshole post holidaze. Back to my "normal" weight.

* Food shopping today (which means exercise, back and forth, back and forth . . .)

* Treadmill or yoga tomorrow (CAKE OR DEATH), no crying (ask me about this Thursday, readers, *especially* if I don't talk about it, I need that jolt of shame to kick start my ass)

* Grocery list is all healither food: a sensible breakfast lunch, dinners of chickpea whole wheat pasta, taco soup, etc. Vitamuffins. Now that we have a microwave again, popcorn and pappadon which are *actually* good choices instead of *sort of* good choices.


3. Writing:

* Finished the first short piece and turned it around like whoa ( and thank you, my lovely pervy readers! I'm glad you guys wanted a peek!)

* Am going back to my Cone of Shame longest short story, gonna hack off like 3-4K and sexy it up, starting today ( Again, I need shaming here)

* Goal for today, hack off at least 500 words

* Been blogging


4. Crafting

* ::crickets::

* I need to um stop fucking around so much on the intertubes and you know, craft.

* Goal for today: Find dolly stuff, start um sewing said dollies

* But I've been supporting small business on etsy buying stuff! I got L.'s present there (a hint: geeksdoitbetter inspired me. But don't spoil it, she hasn't gotten it yet :) That counts, right? Cool.


5. Finance

*. . .I've been helping the economy? No? Okay.

* Despite some giddy purchases, I have not done anything I was Not Supposed to Do

* Resumed answering website questions for $$$

* Working to set up an appointment to start figure modeling

* Paid bills that needed to get paid

* Goals here: I need to make sure I have *at least* [x amount that I feel is a good amount for a minor-major emergency] consistantly in savings, have money ready for brenna's wedding and for next xmas. Start saving for a new used car. Save for other home improvements.

* Am going to start "wish listing" instead of buying straight away

* But, I've started only doing shopping online and that has cut my spendy ways like whoa. When I have that Naked Lunch moment in my online cart instead of at the register, I can just take a bunch of stuff out. So I have been within a reasonable budget with any "splurge" purchases (i.e. the total for everything is much >$200).


6. General Life Improvement

* Made a doctor's appointment for tomorrow for a med check so I can keep lather, rinsing, and maiming on my med schedule

* Suggested (as per his request) an outline of courses for Jow to go back to school and how to do it.

* Just had calling cards made from Social Circle Calling Cards. I'm getting a custom design. They are so cute and so me!

* Asked dossy to halp with a professional website for me, and I renewed said website.

* Have been looking for more fun things for me and James to do on date night and weekends - new places to go, etc. This weekend we tried to go to bent spoon (closed, fail) but went to
Whole Earth which was a win!

* Am working on feeling more glam every day.
- To this end: I ordered a full circle skirt (and if it looks good, this chick is going to be my hook up, we're the same size, she is a fabric store employee, etc.) for like a 1/3 of the cost of an anthropologie skirt, I cleaned out my closet (I still have a bag or two of clothes that needs to be closet-ized), I ordered work pants (pin striped, grey, etc. with a comfy waist band), I ordered two cute retro-y skirts from Torrid, and a petticoat so they look right along with putting together a bag of clothes for the dry cleaners (so what I have already looks nicer), and some new warm tights.
- I want to get back to being able to be "date ready" at a moment's notice so I cleaned out my purse, am getting new wisps, hand santizer, and pocket aleve, and I cleaned out my makeup bag so that now I am ready to go on a moment's notice
- I scheduled a hair cut for next week, and I will be redying
- My goal here is to feel like I didn't just bleerily throw together whatever happened to match, but to make an outfit. It worked for NYE - I went butch glam - tuxedo pants, sequinned wife beater, etc.

* Started playing scrabble online in real time. Plus: Good for brain meats! Minus: Time suck like whoa. I need to keep this in moderation.



* Hey! Everyone who made all these goals for themselves for the new year in a rush of hubris and too much jungle juice (you know who you are, you're on my f-list) like I did, post weekly goal updates. It helps keep you honest, it helps keep me honest, and we can cheer each other on and/or wear The Cone of Shame as needed.

Oh!

Add to religious:
Found a huuuuuuuuuuuuuge indian temple in Bridgewater! They even have (though it's not called this) a White Person Guide to Visiting Their Particular Temple available online. I will be visiting soon! (epiclevelregina, are you free on a Mon or Tues night?)